Musings of a NEW 24 year old

Disclaimer: This does not apply to all 24 year olds and older, I mean, I’ve only been 24 for a few hours *shrug* Some sorta twisted note to self? Yeah, somewhat. 

24

  1. It’s your last year in the 18-24 demography, from next year, you’re going to start ticking the second line on all those many forms you’d be filling. How’s about making this year count?
  2. If you aren’t living your dreams by now, please what are you doing? No no no, Baz Luhrman’s Sunscreen message saying “Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life, the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t” does not apply. It simply DOES NOT! Solomon became king as a little child, ya too old auntee!
  3. WAKE UP! You see how you still think relationships are like tinko tinko, when you’re already going for all your friends’ omugwo… you had better start ensuring all your dates are close in proximity to Ikoyi registry. Silent reminders are hugely effective.
  4. I know, I know, you think disheveled hair is sexy. I’ll just break it to you – it’s not. It’s untidy. And why do you have to keep it tidy? The girls out there are not smiling, see point 3 again. 😀
  5. You see all those work outs you’ve only been having in your head and your timetable, you gattta start them now! Metabolism weel soon start slowing down and fat seeping in. Yes, ya now older!
  6. From now on, when anyone randomly asks your hobbies, you should say – with gusto –  “Cooking! Oh I love cooking!”. Grown women cook everything without breaking a sweat. Kinda. (When the kitchen is well ventilated)
  7. Be all sorts of sweet to yourself. All sorts. You want a getaway trip; save up for it and go! You want a fancy dinner at some top notch restaurant; grab your girlfriends (that’s what they’re there for!) or your boyfriend (Stay in the ladies till the cheque is paid), and go! You simply owe yourself your happiness, so never hold back on all the little things that stir it in.
  8. Family isn’t just everything, they’ll always be everything. Treat them that way.
  9. STOP STOP STOP cutting back on your me-time to do the most unimportant stuff. It annoys all of us in here. Solitude is bliss – E.V.E.R.Y.T.I.M.E. – signed, The Introvert.
  10. Outside cooking, find a real hobby or hobbies. However weird it is, it’s yours. No one can take it away. See, every girl has four primary needs –  God, an active hobby, a sound mind and friends with sound minds. These needs give you a life, basically. One worth living.
  11. Always get yourself a smashing birthday gift, every year. It’s a necessary. Makes keeping track of the years fun. I think.
  12. There are NO fairytales. There are pictures you paint, that may be fairytaly and you have to work towards with grit and faith. That’s the most you get where fairytales are concerned.
  13. Keep your words short and as bonds. If you won’t do it, don’t say it. As you get older, your words do too, and how you handle them is what you’d soon be known for.
  14. Never EVER lose your soul to this world in a quest to gain vanity.
  15. Pray everytime. When you’re pooping, eating, running, sleeping… EVERYTIME! Prayer is what your life hangs unto. Don’t ever forget that.
  16. No one is perfect, embrace the journey as we all try to figure it out.
  17. Don’t settle for a life less than the faintest picture your ever painted. Even the ones where you are at a Karaoke bar performing some crazy hit single and there’s a standing ovation when you’re done – don’t settle for singing to your self in the shower. -_-
  18. You should spend more time doing the chicken dance than sitting quietly in the corner. Wacky is you. You’d always be that way. Don’t let no one – and no age – take it away from you.
  19. Be grateful  and stay happy, it’s the secret to being forever young .
  20. We are 24!

Love,
Self

#ThatAwkwardMoment

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Definitely the fourth.

 

Today is one of those days when the reins of the number of things I get to cover with work and how my day goes belongs to anyone but me.

After concluding my first meeting – the only detail that worked as planned – the fire alarm goes off and we’re immediately told to evacuate the building and stand on the other side of the road.

That took forty five whole minutes.

After I’m back in my chair, I get an email from the company we leased our office space from; saying an end of the year thingy has been planned for all their clients and organized a bus to take us to the location. My colleague – who should deal with this with me – isn’t in today, so I had to go alone.

Problems are:

1. I’m clad in a mickey mouse t-shirt and brown pants, totally unfit for anything really, but I HAVE to go.

2. I stick out like a sore thumb when I’m alone in a gathering. Don’t do good with mixing and stuff, because, mickey mouse-tshirt-wearing-aunty-is-shy.

So, I’m seated alone at the far corner of the round table, looking ahead and praying it all ends as fast as possible.

In all of this, there’s this guy,  he keeps giving me the eye and I don’t know why!

Weird stuff.

When we’re on the way back, he comes over and sits beside me in the bus and we start talking. He’s enthusiastic and saying all the funny things and it’s so cool.

Then suddenly he asks what university I finished from and what year. Then I say. And he says he went to CU as well, and he’s sister was in my set.

I ask for her name. And Dom. Dom. Dom.

She’s my cousin!

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I’m like we’re cousins! – And no, I do not mean those cousins that originate from being from the same village or being neighbours from birth. His mum and my dad are related, somehow.

He’s like “huh”

Then I explain the connection – to the best of my knowledge – pointing out mutual family ties to him and he sits there between disappointment and amusement.

So we’re seated there, for a long silent while – except he said wow and dammit twice each – wondering.

Very awkward moment, I say.

Note to self:

Know your cousins. And your cousin’s cousins. And your father’s brother’s daughter’s baby’s pet as well.

This is how incest happens!

*Cue in African mother’s voice; you cannot marry her, it’s an abomination! Incest! Tufiakwa!!!*

*Fade out*

As you grow older…

– as a girl –

As you get older

1. Society would make marriage a big the only deal for you

2. The constant you have in every conversation with your mum – and woe betide you, your dad – would be about your future husband

3. The only giggly conversation you would have with your best-friend’s mum, would be about the boys in your life who might be prospective husbands and how you can get them closer

4. A friend would call you every month about their wedding details and how you can get your aso-ebi ASAP!

5. Your other friends would call ranting about how they can’t believe the last person who called about aso-ebi is getting married!

6. You would start to accumulate dresses you might never wear again.

7. Your instagram timeline would  be filled with pictures with shiny diamonds and captions like “I/She said yes! (You might start getting sarcastic with thoughts like “Of course she did! *eyeroll*”)

8. Every new guy you meet would be run through a Is-he-marriage-worthy screening in your mind

9. Your boyfriend would start getting weary when you get too nice

10.Your 20-items-long checklist for Mr. Right would reduce to a humble 2- Must be God fearing and older than me. (Yes, not a single word of love right there)

As you get older, really, you realize that every one is on a different journey,, no one’s life determines how yours should be, and mostly that marriage is supposed to be for two people who love each other, not just another predetermined stage in everyone’s life.

With enough time, we all find what we’re looking for, even if it was there all along.

Will You Marry Me?

*shivers*

Oh how I love love!

Mine’s the insane kinda unrealistic fairytalish love that I love. You know, the kind when this guy runs 700 miles – when he cudda taken a bike – just to say “I love you and I want to be with you”.

Makes me shiver :)

That ain’t my flow, be calm.

I’m here to tell you about the very first proposal I ever witnessed and the sweetness of it all. Call me sentimental, but it brought tears to my eyes :)

Where to start…

July 23, 2011

It was my graduation. Mine and my 3 besties. We called us “The Orangutans”.

Convocation in my school was a month long event. We’d start with TTG (Towards a Total Graduate/Towards the Gate :) ) and then transit into four days of real activities that are actually the graduation ceremonies. It was in the third day we spotted him. The third day was a Saturday and we were getting sworn in as alumni of the prestigious Covenant University.

We – The Orangutans – sat in the last four seats on the row, bored to death, then he passed by! And suddenly we were at alert!

“See that cute alumni guy” that was Moyin.

Tope and I looked in agreement and the conversation continued from there. Dami, however, looked exactly like the uninterested smiley on BBM.

Let me quickly tell you a little about Dami. She’s a grinch. Raining on our parade was like what she lived for. It literally took at least 3 bottles of coke to get her half as excited as we usually were, but she hardly took coke :( . We loved her that way.

Back to the story…

So this cute alumni guy’s name is Taiwo. Taiwo is cute. Very cute. haha!

Later that evening, we had our graduation dinner and guess who was introduced to the trio (I was missing) Mr. Cute Alumni. Dami, once again, was forming uninterested, but that’s how love stories in all those romantic novels we bored ourselves with, started, yes?

***

August 16, 2014

Three years, three weeks and  three days after that evening, in the early hours of the night, all of Dami and Mr. Cute Alumni’s most important friends are gathered together to celebrate his birthday.

You see, Dami had planned a surprise birthday for him to make him happy around the people he loved but he had bigger plans.

He had somehow found a way to hack into this carefully planned out surprise dinner and own it, and damn well, he owned it!

Somewhere in between our bants, Taiwo got up and said he wanted to say a few things to Dami, that’s where it all begun :)

Three crazy things that made me shiver in the “I love love” kinda way:

– Before he started his bants, he set the mood! He had cued in a song with the DJ. It was one of the earliest songs Dami had sent him when they started out. It was When God Made You – Newsong and Natalie Grant. You should listen to it, you’ll be teary eyed :) It was such a cute moment!

– He said he’d gone ahead to ask her dad for his blessings, so he could confidently propose :) It was such a sweet and mature thing to do.

– He got down on that knee yo! The knee thing is almost a cliche now, I know, but it’s the thing fairytales are made of! And we love it!

In all of it, that day reeked of cuteness (Dami is crazy cute too) and love and I just had to pen it down.

P.S.: As we do not have the date yet, save the hashtag #DamiTaiwo2015! We finna turn up!

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The Old Sofa

My name is Jack’s. Jack’s Sofa. I belong to Jack.

I’ve been with him for eight years now. When Jack was in his finals in graduate school, he got me. He had said he needed to own something to start out with his life. I was lying just by the corner in the furniture store when he came in. I snickered at his youthful poise and told my friends at the store – Old cushion and Rocking chair – that surely he had come for old cushion ’cause he could never afford me.

You see, I wasn’t proud back then. I just knew who I was. A bright, soft, comfortable sofa. I was the kind of sofa you brought your homies home to settle on. I was homely, dependable and soft. Oh so soft! I was all-purpose too. You could take my cushions off and roll my insides out for an overnight rest. I was simply all a young man needed. Certainly not this young man, I was out of his league.

I was wrong. Jack had all it took to get me! The sweet softness and charisma to convince Gloria to let me go at a reasonable price, the light in his eyes when he described how much he wanted me, the enthusiasm when he counted all he had and paid for me. He said “This sofa is all I want and more” and with that, I bid farewell to Old cushion and Rocking chair, I was off to be delivered at Jack’s.

I got my name in the first two weeks after I was delivered. Jack was trying to move out and start out with his life, so he put me at the corner of the house in the mean time. Everyone that passed couldn’t help asking: Whose pretty sofa is this? You know the response. “It’s Jack’s. Jack’s Sofa”.

Jack and I and all his few belongings moved into a studio flat soon after. He was everything I wanted too. He’d handle me with care and keep me away when his boozing friends came around. He never wanted anything to happen to me. I stayed bright, soft and dependable.

Then, things changed. Jack changed.

Jack was moving ahead with his life, so he decided to redecorate his flat. He got a complete set of chairs for the living room with a proud sofa at the center. Then, he tossed me behind the house as a storage space. When anything needed fixing in the house; he’d say “I’ll just put it on the old sofa till I can get it sorted”.

I wish Jack wouldn’t use me this way, but he would, he doesn’t care much anymore. So today I decided I needed fixing too. I let out my springs and shot them deep into some item he’d dropped on me for fixing.

Now, he’d have to fix me too.

 Or throw me out.